Thank-you!

© Rosemary Williams, RW Coaching

There are books and articles which include ‘Thank-you’ and today I am sharing some of my thoughts.

Many people have helped to reach where I am today. Saying ‘’Thank-you ‘’ is a way of expressing feelings of gratitude or appreciation for something received or that will be received. Not only is it polite to express thankfulness but also there is an expectation. It evokes strong emotions, which creates good feelings and has a therapeutic effect, on both parties. This leads to building stronger relationships. Are you sharing or withholding your feelings?

When some-one is saying something about you, listen and say thank-you for their comments as it will stop you from as interrupting, denying and dismissing them. An opportunity to learn more about yourself will be gained. Listening to the compliments and accepting with good grace or to the comments can help you to identify your strong and weak points. Are you missing this opportunity by ‘shooting the messenger’ as you are too  scared to hear about yourself?

Perhaps you don’t agree with them, think it is a way to rile you or that they are wrong. Saying thank-you is can be disarming, stops the attack and avoids an argument. Have the confidence to let go of wanting to win, be right or add what they have said.  Be aware of your tone of voice, as you may have heard thank-you said in a way to highlight some-one else’s impoliteness but it actually does not reflect well on you.

On balance you will gain more through giving more thanks than criticism. Delaying until the prefect moment may mean you don’t express your thanks as it may never come. Also, you can be thought more of if you express your gratitude. It warm the relationship and increases communication.

Admitting you needed help by expressing thanks can be humbling. Does this make you feel submissive? Help, however small, can make a big difference, so thank those people through saying or writing it. Remember letters and cards are rarer these days, so can be seen as more special. Remind people how worthwhile what they are doing is. Do you regret not thanking them enough?  

Saying thank-you can politely signal the drawing to the end of a conversation, meeting or telephone call as it creates closure. 

Please let me know what you have to say about this one and any topics you would like me to include in future.

                                   © Rosemary Williams, RW Coaching

                 

Personal Space

© Rosemary Williams, RW Coaching

Recently when I went to join a queue I notice a 2m distance between a person obviously in the queue and someone who seemed to be in it. I watched for a second as they were on the ‘phone. They moved forward, following the person in front but even though they had finished their ‘phone call they still kept the same distance. I went behind them and others joined the queue behind me, not in front of the person. They also thought this person was in the queue.  Have you noticed this anywhere?

I began to think about personal space. I moved forward, but the person did not show that a short space behind was uncomfortable. Thus their personal space in front was 2m and less than ½ m behind. Mmmm.  Have you felt people were too close to you when you were in a queue, in public or in private? Your reaction, however slight, is instinctive. You may immediately turn, moved away or otherwise indicated they are too close to them.

Watching a child is interesting as they show their desire for personal space as they developed more self-awareness.

Historically we have deep seated protective instincts, naturally keeping a safe distance from some-one. I’ve heard the line in the House of Commons is to keep people out of reach of an opponent’s sword.  The greatest distance is when you have an audience. Space reduces the chance of germ transfer through contagion or infection.  In public, with strangers or people we do not yet trust we tend to keep people at least at ‘arm’s length’ in front, although we may tolerate some-one closer behind us, we begin to feel uncomfortable.  Basically we like to feel safe.

We may stay within arm’s length when we are with people we can know and trust them.  They are less likely to attack us, so they are allowed to be within reach. What about people who like each other?  Lovers? The distance between them may be the shortest. They are within reach to touch each other, in fact they may be touching without either feeling uncomfortable.

Have you noticed how you can ‘feel your hackles rise’ when some-one is within your personal space? People can become increasingly angry as the space between them reduces. It can show with crowds, close living and driving.   

Remember there are personal differences due to experience, body hygiene and cultural.  Meeting and greeting customs which are within the personal space are kept to a minimum with those we do not feel comfortable with yet.

If some-one can get closer to you when you are using a technological device, does this mean technology is altering our feelings about personal space or lowering our awareness of others?  Or is technology invading our personal space?

I would welcome discussing your views and how personal space affects your business.

Want to Increase productivity? Take a break!

© Rosemary Williams, RW Coaching

When starting my business someone told me to book a holiday before anything else.

‘’What!?’’ I thought. I am too busy wearing so many ‘hats’!

‘’When can I possibly take a break?’’

Many of us feel like this, no matter what our role at work, or the nature of our business. Sometimes a few minutes ‘time out’ or a day off is enough. A quiet moment at the start of the day for a drink of water may give us some time to think and help the brain function better. During and after work you might grab some longer pauses for comfort breaks and lunchtime. This will help to release endorphins which make you feel good, more relaxed and less stressed.

‘’Where do I take a break?’’ 

Find a space away from your desk. Go for a walk outside. Chat to colleagues or meet friends and family. Those who over-work want to be seen as busy in order to gain recognition, promotion and satisfaction - actually they are often over-looked because they are seen as inefficient.

 ‘’Why should I have a break?’’  

Energy naturally rises and falls during the day. You should ensure that you and your employees take the breaks to which you are all entitled, in order to reduce mistakes, illness and absenteeism. Productivity is increased after a break and the brain becomes more creative when relaxed.

Taking regular breaks, including your full holiday entitlement, can link to increased fitness and greater job satisfaction. Unsatisfied staff are less productive, affect others or may leave, causing a drop in productivity as new staff are interviewed, recruited and inducted.

There is legislation in place and guidance available to help, plus processes and procedures can create a happier, healthier workforce.

If you are feeling tired from juggling all the hats you have to wear at work, maybe a ‘holiday hat’ would boost the creativity, productivity and health in your business. Would you like to find time for a break and increase your productivity? Give me a call and I’d be happy to help.

                                           © Rosemary Williams, RW Coaching

What is in a smile?   smile

© Rosemary Williams, RW Coaching

Have you thought about people’s smiles and what it shows?

When people are nervous it can show in their smile as the edges of the mouth are upturned but the rest of the body does not match.  The eyes may stare or dart around with a lack of sparkle, shoulders sloping forward and how are the feet. Anxiety, too, can be seen through other parts of the body even when the face shows a smile. The eyes may be more open, searching around and hands and feet may show tension.

A person’s mood and inner feelings can be expressed through the way they smile. Their emotional state shows through their demeanour, indicating how true they are being to their feelings. A false smile can happen quickly whereas a genuine one takes a little longer to grow. Do you think if some-one acts happy they can become happy? Do you subconsciously know when a smile is false, which has a negative effect, or can it be done so well it deceives?

Even in an apparently unfavourable situation a smile may keep people going, showing a cheerful disposition. When a person is trying to bringing energy levels down the receiver may smile as a way of protecting themselves.

Incongruency means that the expression does not match up with other parts of the face, body or voice. From an early age people can put on a smiley mouth yet there is incongruency, showing they are unhappy inside.  The mask is to protect themselves. We look at people and see the body at a glance and any miss-match creates doubts in our mind. If there is doubt it weakens the belief we have in or about that person and one of the main bases of a relationship is trust.

An asymmetrical smile can look very cheeky, mischievous or show amusement! An open smile may indicate a pleasurable surprise. Look around you and notice how a smile improves appearance, as happier people somehow seem more attractive. A smile has a positive emotional effect on those who see it, encouraging interaction and increasing influence. Do you believe a smile can travel along the airwaves, when talking on the telephone for example, to the person receiving the message? Being positive has positive outcomes.

Remember even a genuine smile is not well received if a person has not had a recent oral hygienist and dental check-up or not considered their personal hygiene, as halitosis and stale body odour are sensory barriers to a relationship.

A brief genuine smile to a colleague, worker or any person you are in contact with is encouraging, showing you acknowledge, appreciate and look at them in a favourable way. Accompanying it with a nod and a thank-you re-enforces the giving and increases the effect on the receiver.

A truly happy smile radiates from the mouth, through the upturned edges to the sparkling eyes, eyebrows and skin. Overall the body posture is open and relaxed. Rapport builds up, the person is more approachable and easier to get along with.

Great elation shows in even more than a full smile with the body movements, oozing the excitement. Accompanied by laughter and giggling shows what fun we find in that situation. Again smiles leading to laughter have a very positive impact on our wellbeing.

So you can make the world a happier, more positive and gain better relationships. When you see a person without a smile, give them one of yours which reflects happiness into their eyes. May your business sparkle!

                                           © Rosemary Williams, RW Coaching

thought cloud

What can you give and still keep?

Your word

What is your most pressing issue right now?

Im always interetsed to hear what your issues are, pleaes let me know what you need help with here

Kindness

How do you feel when you you are kind to some-one?

When you act kindly do you tell them and others?

Next time keep it to yourself and see how you feel.

If you feel different, let me know.

Listening

''The quieter you become , the more you hear''

is a quote from Baba Ram Dass

The best vitamin for making friends

B1

Be careful of the toes you step on today

as they may be connected to the feet you have to kiss tomorrow.